Draco Malfoy and the Teapot
by Silent Squeak
Summary: I guess its PG13 for some snogging. lol. um. the story is a Challenge given to me by Sakura1287, aka Tina. she gave me a challage, i did it, its quite interesting. quite funnie. its a DG fanfic, not really a fic, but yeh. theres a bit of harry, hermie, an


A challenge, this sounds fun. I'm going to try it. Hee hee. But challenge aye? Okie Dokie... so let start off the story. Oh, I expect you want to know the requirements. That's no fun.

_***Quote Challenge***_

_Any story, any setting, and length, any rating.___

_However, ship must be Draco/Ginny, Hermione must get VERY embarrassed about something, and Harry must play some significant role._

_THESE QUOTE MUST BE USED IN THE FIC-_

_"I'm very sorry, love, I must have mistaken you for a teapot."_

_"Indeed, it does work. I tried it once, and only suffered a bit of swelling around my eyes. Want to give it a try?" (A/N: And the person being offered whatever it is must accept.) _

_"For Heaven's sake, you're on fire!"_

Ok, here we go!

Adrian Presents a D/G fanfic…

Draco Malfoy and the Teapot.

***

A/N ok. Got the cheesy title, now for the cheesy story. LOL.

***

Draco turns his head as he walks down the hall as he McGonagall's voice.

"FOR THE LAST TIME TODAY MR. CREEVY! THE SPELL IS _Tran-zi-mor Keh-Ti! NOT _Tran-SI-mor Keh-CHI_!"_

He looks into the classroom and sees a teapot on Ginny's shoulders while Colin face was petrified from McGonagall's yelling.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, WE WANT A KETTLE, NOT A TEAPOT, AND WE DIDN'T WANT TO TRANSFIGURE MISS. WEASLEY'S HEAD INTO ONE!" 

The laughter simmers down in to a snicker and everyone turns back to their own assignments as McGonagall reverses the misfired spell. 

Minutes later, Harry pops out of no where in to the class room.

"And what are you doing here Mr. Potter, and how did you get here?"

"I don't know, that fool up there, you see? That guy typing on the kee-bore thing, yah, he needed me to do something," Harry raised both his hands "SIGNIFICANT," he moves to fingers on each hand like quotes, "in this story thing that we are part of."

"Don't make foolish stories Mr. Potter, how come you are here? And how did you get here?"

"I TOLD YOU! LOOK UP! DON'T YOU SEE THAT CHINESE BOY TYPING ON THIS KEE-BORE THING? And I have no idea how I got here…," Harry scratches his head, "Uh… I apperated?"

"YOU CAN'T APPERATE INSIDE OF HOGWARTS! HOW MANY BLOODY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?" Hermione was suddenly there.

"And how did you get here Miss Granger?"

"Eh? Whoa, I am here…"

"Where were you before?"

"I don't know…"

"I'M TELLING YOU! IT'S THAT CHINESE BOY UP THERE!" Harry waved his arm around.

Ginny taps McGonagall on the shoulder "Um…. Professor McGonagall? My head?" 

"Oh, yes, please go step into the office; I will deal with it in a bit, after I sort out these two."

"Wait! I think I know how to reverse that spell!" Hermione said as she grabbed Ginny's shoulder, accidentally ripping off the sleeve.

"GASP!" was the sound when "RIPPPPPPPPPPPP" was the sound of the ripping as "HAHAHAHAHAHA this is great" came from the Chinese guy up there.

"THIS WAS A NEW ROBE! MY MOM FINALLY BOUGHT IT FOR ME AND YOU AND TO BLOODY RIP IT!" Ginny screamed in rage.

Cowering, Hermione tried to respond after reacting to the outburst, "I'm… I'm… sorry… I… I… I… didn't mean to r-r-r-ip... rip it…"

"WELL BE SORRY ABOUT THIS!" Ginny screamed again as she lunged at Hermione and ripped off both her sleeves.

"Oh boy, cat fight… FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Harry chanted from the side.

Hermione was now really ticked, she was sorry for accidentally ripping her sleeve, but both of her own sleeves? This was to much, but with Harry chanting…

"HARRY POTTER! SHUT YOU BLOODY GOD FORE SAKEN TRAP OF YOURS!" Ginny and Hermione screamed at once. Steam boiled from Ginny's transfigured head.

"Mr. Potter, go to Professor Dumbledore's office, ten points from Gryffindor." 

"What? Awww… come on professor, it was only a jo-"

"NOW POTTER!"

"Fine fine… sheese. Bloody hag." Harry said under his breath.

"TEN MORE POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Bloody hell!?!"

"TEN MORE!"

"Fine…" He swore under his breath

"TEN MORE AND DETENTION WITH ME FOR A WEEK MR. POTTER!"

Harry grumbled and shuffled out of the room.

Meanwhile...

All the boys in the room were staring at the two girls in the middle of the room, one with a teapot head, the other with, um, with, something.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK BEAVER TEETH!"

Ginny ripped a pant leg off Hermione with her wand.

"WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME WEASEL!"

Hermione ripped the rest of Ginny's shirt away leaving only a… umm. You know. 

McGonagall turned back to the girls to only see both girls down to their bra and parts of their pants left.

"Wow… this is getting interesting" said the guy writing this. The Chinese guy. Me.

"STOP THIS MADDNESS! NOW!" and with a flick of her wand. Both girls were fully dressed again and flew back to opposite sides of the room. 

"Awwwwww." "Darn it" "That was a good one" were a few of the murmurs coming from the boys who now had turned back to their projects.

"Miss Granger, I had expected better of you, if you don't behave better, you won't get your chance at being a perfect, as the same for you Miss Weasley, that will be 20 points from-"

"WHAT!?! 20 POINTS?"

"-each will be taken from Gryffindor. Ginny, follow me to my office, Hermione, go back to where you came from"

***

That night, Ginny returns back to the common room still with a handle sticking out from the back of her head. McGonagall had told "It's only a side affect dear; it will be gone by tomorrow night." 

"BAM"

Harry, Hermione, and Ron turn to see Colin re-enter the common room after Ginny had slammed it on him. Ron, as a good brother *cough* goes over to Ginny to see what was wrong.

Shoving him away and running up the stairs in tears "Leave me alone!"

***

Sitting on her bed, sobbing, Ginny hears a soft knock on the door.

"Go away! Don't look and me!"

"It's me, Blaise, can I please come in?"

A minute later after hearing a bit of paper rustling inside, the door opened to what seemed to be Ginny with a paper bag on her head and a big lump on the back of the bag.

"Aw come on Ginny, its not that bad," as she fallowed Ginny back to her bed to sit down.

"NOT BAD IS IT!?!" screamed Ginny, "IS IT NOT BAD IF DRACO MALFOY COMES UP TO YOU AT DINNER AND PULLS ON THAT STUPID HANDLE ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD THEN SAYS IN A LITTLE SWEET VOICE 'I'm very sorry, love, I must have mistaken you for a teapot.' IF THAT'S NOT BAD, THEN WHAT IN BLOODY HELL IS IT?!? AND BEFORE THAT, THAT MUDBLOOD"

"Gasp"

"YEH! I SAID IT! SO WHAT, SHE RIPPED MY NEW ROBES AND-"

Ginny broke down and told her everything.

Blaise picker herself off the floor after jumping back off the bed when Ginny shrieked her reason. She ripped off the paper bag off Ginny's head to look at the handle, but Ginny pushed her away and dove under her covers sobbing.

A few minutes later, Ginny reappeared from down under. 

"Wait… what are you doing here? I'm not even your friend till next week."

"Where did you hear that from?"

"It's in a story by that Sakura girl. I think her name was Tina or something"

Ginny points down the task bar where it says Fanfiction.net- Water and Ash.

"Oh, well I'm here now, so there"

"Uh… how did you know the Gryffindor password and where the common room was?"

"I don't know. I guess it's that freaky Chinese guy who is writing this who put me here."

"AUGH! BLOODY STAIRS!" 

Blaise ran outside to the commons to find Ron and Harry in a pile with a room full of people laughing.

"Did you forget that the stairs would turn into a slide if boys tried to go up to the girls dorms? It was Helga Hufflepuff who put that spell there to prevent any boys from entering." Hermione explained as she picked up the two boys.

"How did you kno-, forget it, I know, you read that bloody book way to many times Herms." Ron replied as he dusted himself off.

"How's Ginny, Blaise? Is she ok? What happened to her? Why is she so pissed? And did she know she broke Creevy's nose again?" Harry asked in rapid succession.

"She's ok"

"Well will you help us get up there so I, I mean we can see if she's ok?" Harry said worried. *A/N poor Ginny, Harry worried about her?*

"No, I don't think she wants people seeing her. I'll be on my way back now" she said as she walked back.

"Hey Hermie, can you get us up, please?"

"No! She called me… me… she called me a mud… Mudblood."

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron.

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No way"

Harry looks at Ron

"Yes way"

Harry looks at Hermione.

"No wa…"

SLAP!

***

Meanwhile in Draco's dorm…

Draco returns to his room, gets in bed, and pulls the curtains. And from under his pillow, he pulls out his journal.

_Date- October 12th_

_Time- 21:38_

_Dear Journal,_

_Today was another of those days where I wished I wasn't a Slytherin with my Malfoy background. Everyone expects me to be all evil and mean to Mudbloods, and be all purists about blood. But I don't want to, I don't want to be what they tell me to be, I want to be myself, like in that one rap song that muggle sings, M&M I think they call him. And what was today's event that made me think this thought that my parents would have killed me if I told them? Well, today I saw the little Weasel, Ginny; get her head transfigured into a teapot. Even though I shouldn't have done it, I told my table at dinner, and as expected, they dared me to go up to humiliate her. I didn't want to, but with what I was raised to, and the consequences if I didn't, I did. I walked up to her and grabbed the teapot handle then said _"I'm very sorry, love, I must have mistaken you for a teapot." _It did indeed tick her off. She shrieked at me and called me a _"BLOODY FERRET", _set my pants on fire, and ran off. I just stood there staring after her thinking what did I just do. How could I have just done something as low as that to a girl that I was made to hate, but a girl as beautiful as the falling sunset and seems to have every star sparkling from the stars in the night all in her eyes? I just stood there wondering, how could I, till Pansy screeched "For Heaven's sake, you're on fire!" _Now I'm here thinking, the little red head so cute and yet so god damn sexy at the same time, how come I have to be what I am, I swear, I'm going to be single all my life.__

_End of Entry_

"HI YA MALFOY! WHAT CHU DOING?"

"WHAT IN BLOODY HELL?!?" Draco shoved the diary hastily under his pillow.

"WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING IN MY DORM!?!"

"Uh… I don't know," Harry scratched his head for the second time that day, "I guess that dude up there-"

"What _dude?" Draco sneered._

"That guy" And with that, he points to the Chinese guy, me.

"I didn't put you there, but heck, since you need a big part, you can stay here for now." I replied, scratching my own head wondering how he got there.

"Well… uh… I best be going then, Malfoy." Harry walked out still confused.

"Bloody muggle lover, god…"

"HEY! WATCH IT, oh, now I remember what I'm here for… I got this new gel and I thought you might want to try some. It works for me, it makes it all nice and shiny" Harry bent his head down for Draco to see.

"Hmmmm… it does seem nice, and it looks like it works… you sure it works?"

"Indeed, it does work. I tried it once, and only suffered a bit of swelling around my eyes. Want to give it a try?"

"Well I know you tried it once, you're using it! But I don't see any swelling…"

"It subsided, gone, poof, went away an hour later."

"Uh… sure, I'll try some." He grabbed the bottle from Harry's hand.

Harry walked out.

"Why the hell did I just take that from Potter?"

"_HaHaHa__… I have taken over your body Draco Malfoy, that is why… HaHaHa." The voice came from Draco himself._

"WHO ARE YOU!"

"_I am the on-" The voice cut short as Draco hit his head with a book and fainted._

***

 As Harry walked down to the Slytherin common room, all activity in the room seized to a stop, and stared and Harry.

"A Potter here? How did he come in, I didn't see him" a voice in the room said.

"Me neither" said a girl.

"Me neither" said a guy from the dark green couch.

"Me neither" said the painting of a snake in parsletongue.

"Me neither" said Pansy.

"Me neither" said the monkey on the stairs

"Me neither" said another girl playing Exploding Snap with a friend.

"Me neither" said the king of spades on one of the cards.

"Me neither" said the sphinx on the other side of the card

"Me neither" said the boy who was holding the card that said "Me neither" that just happen to explode on him at that moment.

"Neither me?" said Goyle confused again.

A girl held her hand up, Harry recognized her as Blaise, "Who cares, let's jinx and hex him just because he's standing here unarmed" 

"Unarmed am I?" as bravely said by Harry, he plunged his hand into his pocket and dug for his wand. "Come on, its in here some where…" He started to panic, looked up, and saw more then two dozen wands pointed at him.

"AHHHHHH!!! I NEED A WAND!"

"Fine, fine, here, take this one for now" said a voice from above, me.

((((llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll=====-----

^ That's a cheap magic wand I made up.

Harry grabbed it and shouted "STUPEFY" just as the just-more-then-two-dozen wands shouted random jinxes and hexes.

Crabbe yelled "Stupidfy?"

Harry turned all weird colors and shapes and *gag* something else as the cheap fake wand turned into a rat. 

So they left Harry outside of the common room withering and gagging as the hexes and jinxes mixed and did weird stuff.

***

"OH NO! DRACO IS HURT!" Ginny screamed as she jumped out of bed and ran to find Draco.

Even I don't know where his room is, but Ginny found it and found Draco on the ground out cold. 

"Oh no… sob… no Draco… sob... don't leave me.. sob"

Minutes later, Crabbe and Goyle come up to see Ginny snogging with a limp Draco. 

Well, Draco finally wakes up with Ginny snogging him, he decides he likes it, snogs back. He drags her on the bed, makes everyone leave the dorm, and heck knows what happened afterwards.

***

"HEY! IM DONE! Let's see I used all the quotes, Hermione did kind of get embarrassed from being striped down to her bra and a little bit of her pants in front of a crowd. Harry did play some stupid significant role. Draco and Ginny snogged together; this should keep Tina and all the other girls happy. Heh heh. I guess that's it, now where to post this…" the author scratched his head. Gave up thinking, and went outside for an ice cream sandwich.

Fin

A/N Like I said, I'm done. Please review just to tell me how bad or messed up the story is. Otherwise, review just to make me happy, and if you don't want to make me happy, review to piss me off. Thank you. *bows, leaves stage left* *curtains close* *peeks back out* Wait a sec, umm... Forget it. *duck head back behind curtains*


End file.
